Confronting Anger

At this point I would ask that you permit me to make a confession. As of late, I have noticed a personal propensity toward outbursts of anger. Such blow-ups have come in times I feel: done wrong, disappointed, discouraged, or depressed. Although I have not recently punched any holes through walls, spontaneously combusted due to increased pressure, or started throwing things around, I need to wage war on this besetting sin in my life. If my anger were to be compared with a thermometer, the mercury has reached dangerous levels.

Fueled by impatience, selfishness, and lack of self control, my anger is clearly sin, and must be killed. The anger that rises up within me, is not righteous anger; but rebellion toward God. Not only does my anger grieve the Holy Spirit, it acts like rottenness in my bones, poison in my belly, and backed up sewer in my soul. This anger is relationship damaging, dishonoring to God and a poor example of Christ like ministry.

Outside the heart exposing truths of the Bible, I have found two sources that have served as ointment to my infection. The first was written by an English Puritan from the the 17th century named Richard Baxter called Anger Management. The second was written by a contemporary American Counselor named David Powlison called Anger: Escaping the Maze. By way of commenting, I will begin with the later, and conclude with some practical directions from the former.

Using the illustration of a traffic jam, Powlison determines that the motivations of anger are often: pride (my will be done as opposed to Thy will be done), fear of man ("What will people think of me if I am late"), and the lusts of the flesh ("I want" such and such - which may or may not be material worship). Powlison determines that when cravings or false beliefs rule my life they produce anger. He goes on to say, "If God ruled my life, I might feel disappointment, but I wouldn't be floundering in the swamp." At this point, when I experience a propensity toward anger I do well to ask myself, "What is ruling my heart at this time?" Is it God, me, others, animals, or stuff? The quicker I can evaluate what is ruling my heart, the quicker I will extinguish anger. In this way, I will fight anger by prizing the promises of God in Jesus Christ.

Richard Baxter also provides some great insights concerning anger. Here are 16 practical directions against sinful anger set out by the great Puritan writer himself.

1. The principal help against sinful anger lies in accustoming the soul to right attitudes.
2. Be careful to keep a humbled soul that does not think too highly of itself, for humility is patient and does not exaggerate injuries.
3. Be careful to avoid a worldly and covetous mind.
4. Put a stop to your anger early, before it goes too far.
5. Take control of your tongue, hands, and countenance, even if you cannot at the moment quiet or command your passion.
6. At the very least, keep silent until reason has had an opportunity to speak and you have had a chance to think.
7. If you do not find it easy to quiet your anger or restrain yourself, then leave the place and company that have provoked you.
8. Make it your habit to avoid talk and dispute with angry men, so far as you can do so without neglecting your duty.
9. Do not meditate upon past injuries or things that have provoked you when you are alone.
10. Keep your minds in lively thoughts of the exemplary meekness and patience of Jesus Christ.
11. Live as in the presence of God; and when your passions grow bold, repress them with the reverend name of God, and remind yourself that God and his holy angels are watching you.
12. Look at others in their passion, and consider how unlovely they make themselves.
13. When anger rises, confess your sin without delay to those around. Take the shame to yourself. Shame the sin and honour God.
14. If you have allowed your passion to break out and to offend or wrong others, by word or deed, freely and speedily confess it to them for forgiveness.
15. As far as circumstances allow, go immediately to God in prayer for pardon, and grace against this sin.
16. Make a covenant with a faithful friend to watch over you and rebuke your passions as soon as they begin to appear. Promise him that you will take it thankfully and in a proper spirit.

Here is some wisdom from the Scripture itself which cannot lie.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 - "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools."

Proverbs 16:32 - "Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."

Proverbs 15:18 - "A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention."

Proverbs 19:11 - "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."

Perhaps these words of wisdom will help us all as we seek to confront anger together.